Low to No Drama

I am nursing at the keyboard (NAK), which actually is very hard with Louise - She has reflux, and maybe she’s just picky, but she needs to be at a certain angle, and she likes the breast to be at a certain angle, too.  Ted wasn’t so picky.

Three kids, one husband, an 800 square foot house… who would have thought it would be so time consuming? Here’s the quick update:

Adrian’s in school, and we have him full time for a while.  His dad’s at Betty Ford.  Kindergarten is going very well for him.  He’s going to be Darth Vader for Halloween.

Ted’s INSANE.  He climbs on everything, makes messes, and thinks he needs to get most of his nutrition from a baby bottle - this is regressing, which is normal.

Louise is sweet.  She is pretty easy going - she eats about once or twice an hour, which can get tiring.  This is one of the things about "nursing on demand" that I just never have gotten a handle on.  My kids seem to think it means that they can nibble every thirty minutes or so.

Jason and I are broke and exhausted.  But happy.  We have such a small pad, we have been trying to optimize space.  This means that every weekend, we move every piece of furniture, and rearrange all of our belongings.  I am at a total loss - I just can’t seem to beat the clutter.

We went to the scale model train station in Costa Mesa - it’s run by volunteers, and once a month, they have rides for children - the trains are very small models, and I determined that Ted would never stay put for a long ride on a bench or a seat without a restraint, so he and I (no pregnant women permitted) stayed at the station and watched the trains go by, which was still a fun thing to do.  Jason and Adrian got to ride twice. 

Ted awoke jabbering at 4:30am - he climbed over me and went into the living room, talking away.  Too bad I can’t understand a thing he says, and he can’t seem to understand that this is not time to wake up yet.

Doctor’s appointment news:  I’m 3cm dilated, 75% effaced.  The doctor is pretty sure she’s hit the 9lb mark by now, which is a disappointing milestone for me.  Ted and Adrian were in the low 8lbs, and that was quite painful enough.  I’ve never actually gone past being 1 cm dilated with either of them. 

I am considering getting induced.  I’ve always submitted to the medical interventions of standard hospital birth to begin with - epidural (with both), pitocin drip (with Ted), so this wouldn’t be that much different.  If the baby gets any bigger than 10lbs, my doctor might not allow vag. delivery, and I just can’t be out of commission for the time it takes to recover from a C-section (I have been lifting Ted for most of the pregnancy, and I wouldn’t be able to do that).

The AP mom’s group is pretty pro-natural birth.  The other two moms that are having babies this month are homebirthers with midwives.  My mom (who has had 5 children naturally) has never approved of the fact that I had epidurals, but then again my mother doesn’t approve of many things I do.  I never aspired to homebirthing because I was afraid I might actually have to clean up after my own birthing experience (as natural as it is, I would be pretty cranky to have to be exhausted and clean up my own mess), and because I’d have to pay for a midwife out of pocket (non-covered by insurance, and down here, they are really EXPENSIVE).  Jason wasn’t too keen on the concept, either - he’d rather have every medical device available to us if there was something wrong.  I don’t really feel that induction would be that big of a deal - pushing out a ten pounder would be a bigger problem for me.   I am one cm away from getting an epidural (they give them after 4cm at our hospital).

I’m waiting until Friday, and then I’ll call the doctor and schedule it for Monday or Tuesday.  In the meantime, I should be doing more of things you are SUPPOSED to be doing to get this started.  I’m not going to do the black cohosh or the castor oil, though.  That makes me too nervous.

Today: The landlord is slurry sealing the driveway, which is going to be a be annoying and smelly.  I don’t want to go anywhere for the whole day, so we’ll be stuck in here. 

We go to the park every Friday to meet with other "attachment parenting" style mothers from my little online group.  I keep thinking "this is the last Friday I’ll be here pregnant."  I look forward to weighing at least 20 lbs less and chasing after Ted with an 8lber in my kangaroo sling.  I actually think it will be easier that way. 

Today was great because there were double the amount of moms there - and there were even kids Adrian’s age.  I think Adrian must be out of shape because he couldn’t keep up with the two five year old girls.  One of them is an Olympic-gymnast-in-training and the other is very very high energy (she has never slept more than five hours a night), so maybe Adrian isn’t a total slouch for not being able to keep up with them, but I was disheartened when he came up after an hour and a half and begged to go home.

He’s been a whiney mess since then, and I had to take away his video games.

So I was a little embarrassed when I figured out that EVERY TIME I update this little ditty, it sends out a blanket email to my friends to announce that I had added to my blog.  The point of this blog is primarily navel gazing right now (and I really mean navel gazing in it’s truest form - I am looking down at my belly as I type.)  And those of you who know me and have been witnesses to the roller coaster rides of years past know that things have pretty much petered out into a lovely, relatively sane existence.

But I have discovered that (hopefully) many of you have turned off the option to receive an automatic update every time someone on your friends list chooses to update something.  It’s under account settings.

I have been spending more time sitting around, waiting for something to change, so in that time, I’ve been surfing the web, using EVERNOTE software www.evernote.com (it’s free, and it’s this never-ending roll of notes you can post to yourself), and building scrapbooks for us and  grandparents with www.mypublisher.com .  I found both of these products through my daily avid reading of the Wall Street Journal, which is a daily exercise of frustration and joy. 

The Wall Street Journal continually amazes me by the sheer annoyance of it’s editorial page, which often directly contradicts it’s own reporters in the same week.  And the total snobish expectations of its readers is funny, too.  They are coming out with a weekend edition next month, and it’s free to the current subscribers.  The WSJ is obviously very proud of this step, and they keep harassing their readers to ensure proper delivery by giving their weekend addresses.  I bet this will be a real coup to them to have a mailing list of leisure/weekend residences for all these affluent folks.  We of course, have decided to receive our WSJ at the same address day in, day out.

The crossword puzzle in the WSJ is a little easier than the New York Times Sunday puzzle, but still would require a few more years of life in order to truly enjoy filling in the blanks.

I am extremely grateful to Jason’s aunt who gifted us a subscription.  She calls often to see if I’ve read an article on real estate or art (she’s a landlord/real estate investor/artist), and then we have something to talk about.  It’s actually a very good thing.

Baby update - last night, we had contractions six minutes apart for two hours, but then they started spreading out, and then I went to bed, and it was all over.  I even called the doctor on call, but she seemed to agree with me that since I’m so close to the hospital and only 2cm, we should just wait til things get really hopping.  I supposed if I had wanted to, we could have gone in, got a pitocin drip and started moving things along through intervention, but I wanted to see how the Angels game turned out (the hospital doesn’t have Fox Sports), and I worry a little that maybe we have the dates wrong in the opposite direction now, and if she’s not coming, maybe there’s a reason.

Adrian showed up unexpected halfway through the two hour stint, and he and Ted merrily ran about screaming and squealing for awhile.  Maybe Louise heard that racket, and decided it was better in the dark warm womb - there are animals on the outside.

Right now, we have totally used up all the AA batteries in the house, so the wireless controller to the XBox is out of commission - THE HORROR - Adrian has been forced to play an old joystick variation of Sponge Bob that his dad got him.  Ted is sitting right next to him, using the now-defunct XBox controller.  Ted seems to think he’s really playing, too.  Sometimes he gets bored, though, and then he just chews on the controller.

I am trying to squash my negative feelings toward the video game / kids issue with a dose of Everything Bad is Good for You: http://www.newyorker.com/critics/books/articles/050516crbo_books .   He’s got a pretty good point. 

Right now I’m in survival mode, so bring it on - TV, video games, CDs, computer time wasters!!!  Adrian goes to school in two weeks, so after that perhaps I can aspire to Waldorf style whittling and Montessori learning fun.

The drug dealer and his girlfriend moved out!!!!!  I was nervous that it only LOOKED like they were going, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but the landlord today confirmed that they are gone!!!!  They had an alcoholic room-mate, and he’s still there, but the landlord says he’s on probabation, and he had to remove the boat with broken motor, the empty refrigerator, the gross couches and some other junk from his carport area!!!

It’s a step in the right direction.  But I’ll take it.  One of our other neighbors brought over some homegrown tomatoes, and I actually went outside yesterday and let Ted run in the hose spray for a few minutes!!!!

I love watching Ted play basketball - he only recently started being able to get balls in the hoop - first a small ball, then a little bit bigger one, and now a humungo normal size b-ball.

I am 2 cm dilated, but my doctor seems to think it’e going to be awhile - she said her guess would be two weeks from now.  I really wanted to punch her.  It’s true though - the contractions that I used to have at night are gone, and with the exception of a ton of pain and pressure, I am not really contracting in a productive way.  I figure that my water will rupture first this time, since I have really high fluid levels, and I feel like an overinflated basketball ready to pop.

Here’s what I recently posted to my AP mom’s group about my day:

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Wasting your time and getting caught up in
trivial details might feel like the most natural thing to do in the
coming
week, but I’d love to steer you away from doing that. Please please
pretty
please take heed of this proverb from ancient Rome: "The eagle does
not
catch flies." In other words, avoid lowering yourself to pursue
rewards
that don’t really interest you or nourish you. And please please
pretty
please also listen to the advice of this Nepalese proverb: "Conduct
short
rituals for minor gods." Translation: Acknowledge the second-tier
powers-
that-be, but don’t prostrate yourself in front of them for hours.

Doctor’s appointment news: 1 cm dilated, baby is big - ultrasound indicated that she’s 6lb 11 oz (bigger than most pat this date), but she’s head down with plenty of amniotic fluid, I need to drink more water because I’ve got a little protein in the urine, and this should all be over in a couple of weeks.

Oh and most exciting - you could see that she has HAIR!!!!! (on her head)  That was pretty cool.

Of course poking and prodding always brings on contractions, so I’ve had quite a few today.  But I’m trying to make my peace with the fact that I should have a week or two to go.  I am trying to get out to the park or other activities once a day and at least have a shiny sink and do my morning routines.

Ted is doing something in his bedroom, and now he comes back and looks a little guilty. I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m sure I will.  Now he is sitting on his brother’s head.

I have pretty happy children.  Ted is actually much more self-sufficient and less needy than Adrian was at this age.  I attribute it to the fact that I am really here to meet Ted’s needs better than I was able to meet Adrian’s needs.  I can sit at the computer or read in the living room - or do housework (less of that is happening now than before) and Ted does stuff on the floor and runs about, occupied with this and that - he doesn’t require that I be down there with him at all times, playing.  I am here if he needs me, and I do get down there and play.

The goal here is to just keep doing thie things I normally do going - this morning Jason woke up and said "I’m so happy today is clean sheet day!"  Our sheets get washed every monday, and the bed actually had a ton of sand  in it due to Ted’s midday naps on it. 

I had been thinking of just letting that go.  I just want to sit around and feel my braxton hicks contractions and read books to Ted and read my own books and get my daily dose of the evil Wall Street Journal (Jason’s Aunt got us a subscription, and though it can be interesting, some days it’s like reading Fox News.) 

Instead, I know that I have to try even harder to keep up my routines and keep the house livable.  Things will go straight to shit when the baby is born.  Plus, there are some clutter spots that happened after we moved stuff around - I put craft supplies in bins and they are still in the kitchen, so I have to take care of that before that stuff starts to think it lives on the kitchen table.

I am making Adrian’s dad take Adrian to the dentist this morning.  I wonder if he’ll stick us with the bill - Adrian has two cavities.  His father has never taken him to any doctor, so this should be interesting.  I am a little worried that the Newport Beach dentisti’s office is going to freak out at the sight of X and call and insist that I be present (I called and told them X would be bringing A, but I didn’t really say what X was like.)  X has only been to the dentist a couple of times in his whole life, and he’s never had a cavity.  When I told X that laughing gas was $50 extra (we have insurance that will cover 80% of the procedure, but not the happy gas), he said they’d be skipping it.  That should be fun for everyone involved.